


Unsent Letter

by LycoRogue



Category: Fruits Basket
Genre: Allusions to Kyoko, Angst, F/M, Kyo being a broken anstsy boy, Kyoko Honda, No characters actually named, Tohru Honda - Freeform, allusions to spoilers for manga conclusion, deserving of punishment, kyo sohma - Freeform, look at me writing something less than 500 words, self hate, undeserving of love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-19 06:16:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20652545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LycoRogue/pseuds/LycoRogue
Summary: In Kyo’s bedroom waste basket there is a crinkled up ball of paper: a letter he wrote to Tohru, but could never find the courage to hand to her.





	Unsent Letter

**Author's Note:**

> I re-watched the True Form episode of Fruits Basket yesterday, and as I was falling asleep I thought up Kyo Angst. I woke up this morning remembering most of it. So naturally I had to pass it along to you fine folks.
> 
> WARNING: There are hints at, but not specific spoilers for, the conclusion of the manga.

Why? Why you? Why did I have to fall in love with you?

Why do you have to have that kind smile that anchors me? Why must you look at me with such caring eyes? Don't you understand what I've done to you? Can't you comprehend how I've hurt you? How I've failed you – and her – twice? I'm the reason for your pain, and yet you ask me to spend time with you. Do you know how cruel it is that you're so kind and gentle with me?

Fate is straight up wicked. Most of my life, I've wanted to meet you; be your friend. Yet I get the opportunity now? Of all times? Why now? I don't deserve you now. I didn't deserve you before, but it's almost evil to have you in my life now. Is this just another layer of the curse? To be given hope, especially from you, of all people?

Can I accept it? Should I accept it? Am I even worthy of it? Am I destined to hurt you again? Fail you again? Is it my curse that I should break you? That would be my greatest sin if I ever do. Please, don't break. Please stay exactly as you are now. Please don't love me. I can't stand it. I don't know what to do with it. I've never been taught how to handle someone else's love.

You hurt me. Do you know that? Each night, as I go to sleep, and know that I'm one day closer to leaving you; losing you, it hurts. Every time you're kind to me because of something your mother taught you, you hurt me. Every time you tell me you're glad you met me; that I'm alive, you hurt me. Every time you beam about how lucky you are to live under the same roof as me, you hurt me.

You don't belong here. You belong in a small apartment on a quiet block away from here. You belong with your mom; not me. You deserve so much more than what you have, and it is because of me that it was ripped away.

Don't love me. I've sinned. I've sinned against you. I've sinned against you so many times. Is this my punishment? To have you smile at me? Lean against me? Hum as you do housework around me? Have you call out my name as if I were a friend? As if you care whether or not I'm around?

I can't bear it. I can't handle my hell being painted as such a sweet heaven. The torture is too great.

I need your love desperately, but could I ever deserve it?

Why did I have to fall in love with you? Please, don't fall in love with me.

I could never be worthy, and you are owed so much better.

**Author's Note:**

> My poor, precious son. I know I normally end on some sort of high note with my angst, but I just wasn't feeling it with this one. I guess the high point is that he did throw the letter away? He couldn't bring himself to actually hand it to her. He was too afraid of losing her.
> 
> As always, reviews are greatly appreciated. I love seeing your thoughts. If you don't have the energy, or you're too shy, to write a review, know that I still appreciate all of those hits to my story as well. Thank you for reading.


End file.
